Why is it that, once we get married, it is hard for our single friends to relate to us? And why after having children does there seem to be an entire communication breakdown between us and our still childless counterparts? I have to believe that this is a problem encountered on both sides of the relationship, but how exactly do we overcome this barrier? Is it even possible?
After hanging up the phone from talking to a former high school/college girlfriend of mine, I realized that I had just carried on a conversation that was very difficult to...well...carry. Since my girlfriend is still single and kids aren't even on the horizon for her, I felt like we really were lacking all of the things that we used to have in common. Interests have changed, as well as priorities. I'm sure that she feels the same way...I mean...I don't exactly sit with anticipation as she divulges all of the details of her weekend spent clubbing, but I am sure that she feels the same way when I talk about the funny thing that The Fred did the other day.
So, what is the solution? Should we keep up our mundane banter until our interests and priorities once again coincide? Or, should we put these gal pals behind us and hope for the best? I'm unsure of the answer, but I continue to hope that either my life will slow down or theirs might speed up. I would like us to be on the same page again.
Luckily, I have had the opportunity to fill some of the voids in my life that have appeared as a result of these disintegrating relationships by finding new friendships...with new gal pals...with similar interests and priorities...with the same questions. Is it time to leave the old gal pals behind to make room for the new, or should we just wait for our lives to end up in the same place again?
Saturday, August 25, 2007
Gal Pals Left Behind
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6 comments:
If you find the rught answer, please fill me in.
I vote we hide our single friends' birth control, thereby forcing them into our situation.
I was just asking myself this very question the past couple of days. Are you reading my thoughts???? Stop it, you are scaring me. Please let me know if you find the answer to this.
Communication with my single friends is usually limited to lunches, we just don't have anything in common anymore, so we eat!
Great idea! Replace conversation with food!
My I interject by saying that I have several mommyfriends that are a major part of my life. Maybe even more now than before they entered mommydom. Namely my best friend, Tyler. I was there the day her child was born and I have been there since. Picking him up from Daycare, not as a favor but because I want to. I adore all of my friends who have children and have entered that part of their lives with them with much joy and excitement for a little muchkin love. I have one friend who is about to pop with twins and I cannot wait until I can hold those two little men in my arms. It is because of her size and stature that she has been on bedrest since June. I have been at her house every weekend when I am in Tallahassee.
I do not agree at all, with proof in my own life and circumstances, that single friends disregard their mommyfriends. I believe that something was missing before the mommydom came along that was just not taken into perspective.
To all of you out there who have children, especially those that have a 'The Fred' or a 'Sweetboy'- God bless you and all you do as a mommy and, give your friends another chance. Maybe, just maybe, your behavior has changed too. Just ask.
PS Not all of us go "clubbing" either. Berly-Bear, honestly. Who uses that expression. Oh yeah! A mommy! :) LOVE YOU MUCH
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