To Work Or Not To Work...That is the Question

I seem to ask myself on a daily basis if I can handle life as a SAHM (that's "stay-at-home-mom" as I only recently learned when I needed to use it to describe my own title in this corporate world of Mommydom). The adjustment to life in my new role has been difficult and full of questions, i.e. "Am I doing the right thing for ______ (insert: "me," "my husby," "my children")? So far, the only question I have been able to answer is the last one..."Am I doing the right thing for my children?" I answer with a resounding "yes!" They both seem to thrive with all of the one-on-one (I mean one-on-two) "momma time." The Fred loves being able to spend the day describing all of her bathroom conquests to the undivided attention that only a mother can provide, and SweetBoy has never know anything different, so he languishes in the constant smooches and endless supply of Cheerios that I am able to provide.

When it comes to my first two questions (insert: "me" or "my husby"), my answer seems to change on a daily basis. Well, I guess that it is supposed to vary with the trials and strangulations (I mean...tribulations) of the day. I have learned that in the life of a Mommy, it is generally wiser to put your own needs at the end of your line of questioning, so I will rearrange, "Am I doing the right thing for ______ (insert: "my husby" then "me")? So, is being a SAHM good for the man in my life? Probably not. The stress of living on one income seems to wear at him (and me). I would love to be able to tell him when he brings in a stack of bills from the mailbox, "I'll take care of these honey!" Although, I think he might faint if that scenario ever occurred. Adjusting to life without a paycheck (no matter how small it may be) is difficult...probably for most of us. Luckily, I married a wonderful man that supports my decision...whichever decision it might be.

Lastly, I come to the question of, "Am I doing the right thing for______ (insert: "me")? Well, to be perfectly honest, I can't answer that question right now. Although, I'm not sure if my answer is even important. As long as I know that I am doing the best possible thing for my children, I guess that the answer bears no value. Why can't I learn to measure my worth in my children's laughs, smiles, and most importantly, the drool instead of the location of a decimal point and the number of zeros on a piece of paper? I am growing to love my corporate title as SAHM, and I only hope that everyone else sees the pride that I have in the great job (although sometimes clueless and questioning) I am doing in deciding to raise my children.