Thyroid Cancer Awareness Month

Did you know that September is national "Thyroid Cancer Awareness" month?  That's okay...I didn't either.  It's funny the kind of things you become aware of when they affect you personally.  I have had a lot of people ask me if I knew that something was wrong with me when I went to the doctor.  The short answer is..."no."  Over the past few months, I had felt as if I had a lump in my throat when I swallowed, and my voice would become very hoarse if I talked for an extended amount of time.  All of these symptoms were things that I attributed to allergies and post-nasal drip, so I wasn't too concerned.  I hope that, if nothing else, this will be a learning experience for others.  Of all of the times I have seen a physician over the past five years, I can only think of two times where the physician actually palpated my thyroid.  The lesson to be learned here is that we should be proactive and ask our physicians to check our neck at our annual wellness visits.  Thyroid cancer is the fastest growing cancer among women...it's Thyroid Cancer Awareness month...please ask your doctor to check your neck.

For more information, check out the Light of Life Foundation at checkyourneck.com.

A Hand To Hold

The night before my second surgery, I barely slept at all.  I would fall asleep for 15 minute bursts followed by waking up in a panic.  I just couldn't get my brain to turn off.  At about 3 am, I fell asleep long enough to have a very vivid dream.

In my dream, I was sitting in a pre-op room, waiting to go into surgery, and sobbing uncontrollably.  None of the strangers in the room were able to comfort me.  I looked up at one point and saw a familiar face walking down the hall towards me...a friend...swooping in to rescue me.  She walked in dressed in surgical scrubs, shooed everyone else out of the room, sat on the edge of the bed next to me, held my hand, told me it was all going to be okay, and then, gave me some good medicine to help me relax...then, I woke up again.  This time, I had a smile on my face.

I had to smile because, for me, I know that this friend is filed away in my brain under the label "calming nurturer."  This friend lives many, many miles away, and unfortunately, I have not seen her in years, but we have stayed connected thanks to the marvels of modern technology.  I had to share my dream with her.

Little did I know, but the night of my dream, she had been praying for me along with a list of several others.  She had asked that our pain and suffering be relieved and that our loads would be lightened.  We were both happy to know that those prayers had been heard.  I told her that sometimes all we need is a hand to hold.

Over the past couple of days, I have gotten more hands to hold via email from others, thanks to my wonderful friend.  They have put a smile on my face, made my heart feel happy, and put my mind at ease.  It's good for the soul to have friends like that.

Cancer...Really?

I must say that I was really holding out hope for a miracle.  You know how you sometimes have that gut feeling that something just isn't right?  In nursing, we are taught to always act when our gut tells us that something "just isn't right."  My gut has been telling me this for a while now...just a different feeling that I have had over the past few weeks...nothing ominous...just a little bit different from the norm.

The first surgery, on Monday, went very well.  They removed the right side of my thyroid, the tumor, and 2 lymph nodes.  Thank God for excellent nurses!  I am also very thankful for my CRNA that was kind enough to whip some good drugs out of his pocket (funny how they always just have this stuff in their pockets...anyone that has had surgery or works in healthcare knows what I am talking about) to calm my fears (and my stomach).  I am eternally grateful.  After surgery, I was comfortable enough to go home and get in my bed. There is something about being in your own bed that has a healing effect.  My cold, dark room is like my own personal wellness retreat.

I was scheduled for my follow-up appointment on Thursday morning.  Husby went with me to see Dr. Best, and after checking out my Texas Chainsaw massacre incision (just in time for Halloween, might I add) and taking a look at my vocal chords, Dr. Best got that look on his face.  You know the look....the "OMG, I really don't want to tell you the bad news" look.  The news was to let us know that the cancer diagnosis was confirmed and the tumor was a follicular variant papillary carcinoma with extension and lymph node metastasis.  The other news was to let m know that I would need to have completion surgery on Monday...same time, same place.

They went ahead and did staging, so the cancer is T3N1a follicular variant papillary carcinoma, which is Stage III.  Because I am under 45 years old, they usually like to stage better than they would for someone over 45 years old, so for age reasons, they can call me Stage I or II.  After the second surgery, I will have a few weeks before I start treatment to prep my body for the radioactive iodine treatment.  

As D-Daddy would say, "Are we having fun yet?"  Really, I am okay.  I know that is hard to believe, but I am.  I just want my family to be okay.  I am trying to keep as much normalcy in our lives as I can, and with the help of friends and family, that has been possible.  I am still optimistic, and I know that I will be okay.  Thank you to everyone for all of the food, prayers, and kind words...you all mean more to me than you know.  

Until next time...I love you!

xoxoxox

-K